Befriended Stranger

The God-conscious being is always unattached,
as the lotus in the water remains detached.

The God-conscious being is always unstained,
like the sun, which gives its comfort and warmth to all.

The God-conscious being looks upon all alike,
like the wind, which blows equally upon the king and the poor beggar.

The God-conscious being has a steady patience,
like the earth, which is dug up by one, and anointed with sandal paste by another.

(Sikhism, Shri Guru Granth Sahib, Section  7 – Raag Gauree)

Another prayer station, both unique yet usual. This time it was Max, Marite, Sohi and myself. We had another bean soup / banitza / banana bread dinner (what it is with the Bs?), followed by Holy Writings, prayers and the music of Leonor Dely, SKY and Paul Parrish, each singing their version of:

O SON OF MAN!
For everything there is a sign. The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under My trials.
(Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words, #48)

Then came the time for Marite’s questions who during the dinner told us that she is getting ready to become a Baha’i but has some things on her mind that trouble her. Can she pray to both Jesus Christ and Baha’u'llah? Can she accept both? Can she consider Jesus as higher than Baha’u'llah since Jesus was from older times? Can she be a Baha’i and go to church? She certainly feels more embraced and at ease at Baha’i gatherings than at church although understandably she is being careful about her own roots and identity.

We all shared our thoughts, and experiences, and prayed some more, and even sang the song “Hoy Es El Dia” together. And we clarified that if and when Marite becomes a Baha’i, she would be part of the Arlington Baha’i community. Now is the time for more patience and more prayers, until the heart is calm and ready to embrace the peace of knowing that there is one God, one humanity and one religion.

But, O my brother, when a true seeker determineth to take the step of search in the path leading to the knowledge of the Ancient of Days, he must, before all else, cleanse and purify his heart, which is the seat of the revelation of the inner mysteries of God, from the obscuring dust of all acquired knowledge, and the allusions of the embodiments of satanic fancy. He must purge his breast, which is the sanctuary of the abiding love of the Beloved, of every defilement, and sanctify his soul from all that pertaineth to water and clay, from all shadowy and ephemeral attachments. He must so cleanse his heart that no remnant of either love or hate may linger therein, lest that love blindly incline him to error, or that hate repel him away from the truth. Even as thou dost witness in this day how most of the people, because of such love and hate, are bereft of the immortal Face, have strayed far from the Embodiments of the divine mysteries, and, shepherdless, are roaming through the wilderness of oblivion and error. That seeker must at all times put his trust in God, must renounce the peoples of the earth, detach himself from the world of dust, and cleave unto Him Who is the Lord of Lords. He must never seek to exalt himself above any one, must wash away from the tablet of his heart every trace of pride and vainglory, must cling unto patience and resignation, observe silence, and refrain from idle talk. For the tongue is a smouldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endure a century.

(Bahá’í Faith, Baha’u'llah, The Kitab-i-Iqan, p. 192)

As I am contemplating how exactly to write about what’s in my heart, I am looking at the joyous smile on the face of my almost 5 year old daughter, beaming at me from a photo calendar on the wall. I ask myself, what will her life be? Will it be peaceful? And I mean more than the external, political peace, we all wish for humanity, but the peace that resides in the heart touched by God and never let empty of His grace. There are so many stories of lives shaped through war and love. A very touching one, of faith as recognition and heritage, was just shared with me via Baha’i Views and The Washington Post. And it made me think again about how the lessons I am learning these days will hopefully benefit my children and help shape their identity.

When last Monday’s study circle served food for thought — and the soul — I was not aware yet how timely Abdu’l-Baha’s words would be:

When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love.
(Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 29)

Now looking back after a tumultuous week, I am so grateful for all that enabled once again my inner peace — God’s grace, the help of friends, long walks, mindful breathing, and two books. But I also reflect on the fact that peace is not an easy thing — it indeed requires work and effort. “A stronger thought of peace… a more powerful thought of love.”

The two books I have found so helpful are The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by the Arbinger Institute: a very important book which by explaining the dynamics of how we box ourselves into warring hearts, we render ourselves impotent to invite peace in others, until and unless we reach that peace within our own hearts; and Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk who reminds us that the choice between peace and everything else, joy and everything else, life and everything else, happens in every little step, in every little breath, in every little moment. Do yourselves a favor, read these books. But more importantly, reward yourselves with a deep, calming, soothing breath. “Breathe, you are alive!”

What prompted my thoughts on how to shape one’s identity was the realization that without action all we could do is absorb — through osmosis — whatever the environment has to offer. And if we don’t like what the environment offers — if we want change — we need to be prepared to swim against the tide, to be ready for action and work, systematic and tireless.

Bulgarian Identity

As any parent, the question of what identity I want for my kids is on my mind quite often. As a Bulgarian living in the U.S., naturally I want them to speak Bulgarian thus I want some of their identity to be Bulgarian. I’ve been taking them to a Saturday afternoon Bulgarian school but I realize that this alone cannot guarantee their knowledge of Bulgarian. The reality is, they live in an English-speaking, American culture and if left alone, all they will learn is whatever they hear and see, and that will not be Bulgarian — not that the environment is hostile to the Bulgarian language, it just does not take proactive role of supporting Bulgarian language. So, my resolution, as the new school year begins, is to use every opportunity I have to teach them some Bulgarian and practice with them, in the hope that one day when they visit Bulgaria, they will not be totally clueless.

Baha’i Identity

Similarly, the question of shaping a Baha’i identity — for myself and for my kids — is one of swimming against the tide, and making proactive effort to counter the materialistic osmosis with spiritual action.

As much as I want my kids to have a Bulgarian identity, I want them most of all to be raised as Baha’is; to have a Baha’i identity. The Universal House of Justice in one of its messages from 1996 has a very specific take on the benefits of having a Baha’i identity: “the capacity to look upon the world and its conditions from the point of view of the Teachings rather than from the standpoint of one’s nationality or non-Bahá’í background“.

When my daughters grow up, of course, they will make their own choice if they want to be Baha’is or not, but for now as they are very little, it is my responsibility as a father to provide the best for them; and the best, as I understand it today, are the Baha’i teachings.

I became a Baha’i 18 years ago and even though my path has not been straight at all, and my practice of the Baha’i teachings has not always been consistent, I have no doubts of my personal commitment to the Baha’i Faith. I firmly believe that the Baha’i Faith can offer my kids the best spiritual defense they would need to deal with life’s challenges as they grow. For we live in a society so materialistic and so confused about its priorities (I know it from my own multiple trials and errors), that unless provided with clear guidance and principles that are practiced on a daily basis, it is so easy to lose one’s bearings. Not that our society is proactively hostile to spirituality — on the contrary, America is significantly more religious than Europe — but to foster spirituality in my children’s (and my own) identity, I need to dedicate time for spiritual education. Thus my commitment to persist in offering spiritual education for my children (and others when appropriate).

The long weekend provided many opportunities to reflect on what an identity I want — for myself and for my children. I will write more on the identity question but for now few reflections on the Labor Day weekend… We went to the Shenandoah Baha’i Summer School and it was wonderful for many reasons:

Being among true friends

First of all was of course the joy of being among true friends. It is always nurturing — and inspiring — to be among people who are clear on the priorities of their lives, and to follow their example. Among true friends even tests are easier to handle: within seconds of being overwhelmed by petty and self-pity feelings, I received a call from an old friend who himself needed help, and sure enough, God’s medicine worked — I offered my friend a  prayer, sharing which helped both him and me:

O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.

O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.
- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

Music, Ladder for the Soul

The Saturday night concert was truly outstanding. The performance of the Washington Metropolitan Baha’i Chorale was great and it was wonderful to be able to join them for an improvised reunion and sing together once again — they were so generous to let me sing even though being in blue jeans certainly did not fit with the all black outfit. It was wonderful to have Van Gilmer once again as a soloist, but Dori and Roya are doing great job directing the chorale. All soloists were stellar — from Van, through Roya, George and Mike, to a refreshingly confident Kim whose voice shined! The personal highlight for me was seeing my 4 year old daughter Sofia jump and sway as an experienced groopie the moment she saw me with the chorale. Her smile was so happy, I could not stop beaming while singing. When the time came for me to start the intro to the closing song, “We have come to sing praises”, Sofia ran onto the stage and jumped on my neck! Singing with her hanging on my neck was so heartwarming even if challenging but it apparently sounded well enough, so I contribute the success of this exercise to her sweet and innocent love.

I was very much looking forward to seeing Ali Youssefi perform and was more than pleased. Ali performed with his sister and a violin player. They were outstanding! I bought Ali’s CD and look forward to his next one. I had the pleasure of meeting Ali’s father and when I congratulated him on raising two wonderful kids, he humble suggested that it was all Baha’u'llah’s work. What a marvel it is to observe the beautiful results produced when one is submissive to God’s guidance!

Teaching, the Greatest Gift

We also participated in a teaching project where we offered that same “Refresh and Gladden My Spirit” prayer to those interested. Justin apparently did a stellar job by offering the visual presentation, first by translating for one Spanish-speaking family and then sharing the message to another family with the help of a flip-chart. The focus on offering a prayer made the whole process very natural and once again reminded me of what the spirit needs the most — a prayer and patient encouragement to grow strong despite the consumerism and materialism permeating society.

Of all the gifts of God the greatest is the gift of Teaching. It draweth unto us the Grace of God and is our first obligation. Of such a gift how can we deprive ourselves? Nay, our lives, our goods, our comforts, our rest, we offer them all as a sacrifice for the Abha Beauty and teach the Cause of God.
(Abdu’l-Baha, The Will and Testament, p. 25)

Children classes

As soon as we came back to Arlington, we explored three places where children classes could be offered and found one that felt just right. We had visited that place on several occasions and now emboldened by a sense of the importance of the work on sharing spiritual education with the kids playing on the grass square between several apartment buildings, asked the parents of a group of kids for permission and once given their thumbs-up . Justin is doing great work in engaging the kids; I help with our kids and the sing along, so it works out into a good team work. The kids asked us when we are coming back — what better reward to ask for!

Children are the most precious treasure a community can possess, for in them are the promise and guarantee of the future. They bear the seeds of the character of future society which is largely shaped by what the adults constituting the community do or fail to do with respect to children. They are a trust no community can neglect with impunity. An all-embracing love of children, the manner of treating them, the quality of the attention shown them, the spirit of adult behaviour toward them — these are all among the vital aspects of the requisite attitude. Love demands discipline, the courage to accustom children to hardship, not to indulge their whims or leave them entirely to their own devices. An atmosphere needs to be maintained in which children feel that they belong to the community and share in its purpose. They must lovingly but insistently be guided to live up to Bahá’í standards, to study and teach the Cause in ways that are suited to their circumstances.
(The Universal House of Justice, Ridvan 157, 2000)

Last night I attended a thought-provoking discussion on what hinders our ability to build capacity — spiritual, mental, intellectual. The brief answer was: a power struggle. I was reflecting on the self-prejudice we subconsciously impose on our inability to recognize our inner wisdom and inner value.

Today, I read a most intriguing interview with a very interesting and talented artist, Ivan Lloyd:

I read an interview with John McLaughlin, the jazz guitarist, where he said that when he got on stage before an audience he strove to achieve a mental state where he was in total communion with God before beginning the performance. He said success with such a mental state was rare but achievable. Is this the same thing as your “familiar space”?

I can’t say it’s like that for me, because improvising as a painter differs from the precision demanded of musicians. It’s more about warming up as I proceed to work. For the first half-hour I’m dealing with that conversation in my head, you know, that inner voice that brays like a parent. Instead of trying to suppress the dialogue I let it ramble on until I don’t listen anymore. About the same time, my brush strokes become automatic and there’s an inner peace. That state of being has little do with identity, let’s say, me the composer, or me the artist. On the contrary! The thought process is more of an intellectual hindrance to the creative process. Rather than impose my imagery on the canvas, I strive to be an instrument, or conduit, for images to manifest from another plane, in spite of my ego. It’s a fluid organic process and from that point of view it is that “familiar space,” that inner sanctum, if you will.

In that case you would advocate artists should practice some form of mental exercise or yoga as a way to silence the babbling that goes on in the mind; babbling which interferes with the creative process?
The creative process is so uniquely individual, each person approaches it differently. I don’t recommend yoga or mental exercises to quieten that babbling brook we call the thought process. You can’t silence or subdue this phenomena without concentrated breathing exercises, leading to deep meditation, which implies shutting down the senses to outside stimuli, in which case you’d be in no condition to paint. The painting process in itself is good enough therapy, and letting go of preconceived ideas is helpful in achieving the same results, without meditation.

So, I am reflecting on the power struggle between the mind and the heart… Indeed, the way to win this battle is to let go of the battle. Because, as the presenter last night paraphrased the Buddha, “The moment you thought you’ve got it, you’ve lost it”.