Befriended Stranger

We are interconnected, like rippling waves. From time to time we get glimpses of this interconnectedness but more often than not they are so subtle that we do not even notice them. Which makes the times when it is impossible to miss those glimpses, even more precious…

Yesterday I got a pleasant surprise when the apartment building’s manager — a very sweet young woman from Yemen who grew up in Germany — sent me an email that she would like to come to the Prayer Station. I was so overjoyed! In case you wonder why, and to put things in perspective, she’s been on my weekly invitation list since… June 2008. And even though on many occasions she had asked me to pray for her, it was the first time that she decided to join me…

When she arrived, she asked me if I knew why she came this time after all these invitations — I had no idea but she explained…

The previous week, she had contacted me to remind me that I need to clear up my apartment for carpet replacement. I had totally missed the message during my recent trip to Bulgaria so I had to take last Monday’s afternoon off from work to be able to move all the stuff to the balcony, kitchen and restroom — the only places not covered with carpeting. Then on Tuesday morning she called me to tell me that a mistake had been made and that in fact my carpet is not old enough and it will not be replaced. My reply was… “Oh, OK, no problem”. She felt badly about the mistake and offered to have the carpet cleaned to which I gratefully agreed.

So, yesterday she explained to me that she  was so surprised that I did not get mad at her as she was anticipating, that she decided to come to the prayer meeting to find out what makes me who I am. I hope this is not a post to brag about how calm I can be, so in full honesty I don’t know if I would have gotten mad on another more regular day but that day in particular I was most certainly very impacted by the passing of Joe Pagano which, putting everything else in perspective, had reminded me how fragile and precious life is,  and by the beginning of the Fast.

One way or another, she came to join the prayer meeting and a group of  five other souls — four Baha’is and a young woman of Catholic background — and we all had great time reading and praying for the equality of women and men.

I am so grateful for this confirmation, this glimpse into the power of the positive impact we all can have on each other, for the reminder that we all are indeed rippling waves of one sea, passing energy into the universe and onto each other…

O Lord! Cause our souls to depend upon the signs of Thy Oneness, our hearts to be dilated with the bounties of Thy Singleness, so that we may become united as are ripples on a waving sea; become harmonized as are the rays which shine forth from a brilliant light; so that our thoughts, opinions and feelings become as one reality from which the spirit of accord may be diffused throughout all regions.

Verily Thou art the Beneficent, the Bestower! Verily Thou art the Giver, the Mighty, the Loving, the Merciful!

(Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v1, p. 3)

The most vital duty, in this day, is to purify your characters, to correct your manners, and improve your conduct. The beloved of the Merciful must show forth such character and conduct among His creatures, that the fragrance of their holiness may be shed upon the whole world, and may quicken the dead, inasmuch as the purpose of the Manifestation of God and the dawning of the limitless lights of the Invisible is to educate the souls of men, and refine the character of every living man — so that blessed individuals, who have freed themselves from the murk of the animal world, shall rise up with those qualities which are the adornings of the reality of man. The purpose is that earthlings should turn into the people of Heaven, and those who walk in darkness should come into the light, and those who are excluded should join the inner circle of the Kingdom, and those who are as nothing should become intimates of the everlasting Glory. It is that the portionless should gain their share of the boundless sea, and the ignorant drink their fill from the living fount of knowledge; that those who thirst for blood should forsake their savagery, and those who are barbed of claw should turn gentle and forbearing, and those who love war should seek instead for true conciliation; it is that the brutal, their talons razor-sharp, should enjoy the benefits of lasting peace; that the foul should learn that there is a realm of purity, and the tainted find their way to the rivers of holiness.

‘Abdu’l-Baha, Selections From the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Baha  Pp. 11-12.

A few weeks ago, at the Web Analytics Wednesday local gathering I saw an old friend whom I had met through the activities of the Web Managers Roundtable several years ago, Joe Pagano. As Joe and I spoke about interests beyond our profession, he enthusiastically invited me for a tour around the Library of Congress where he worked. We agreed to meet for lunch with another fine friend of mine — and a Library of Congress fellow — Bill Collins. I thought that such a lunch would give me an opportunity to talk to Joe — a truly special human being — about the Baha’i Faith. We had originally planned to meet for lunch on February 10th but had to shift it to February 9th due to other activities. The big DC snow of February 2010 then had us postpone again, and then came my trip to Bulgaria. Now that I am back, I was about to send a message to Joe and Bill to start planning again for our lunch.

This morning however, I got Jim Sterne’s newsletter, Sterne Measures, and read in horror the following:

So Long Joe, You Will Be Missed

Last month, we lost Joe Pagano, a vibrant member of our community. Joe was the digital media project coordinator
in the Office of Strategic Initiatives at the Library of Congress where he led the Library’s Web site analytics
program. He worked in web metrics for the last eight years, was co-chair of the Web Manager’s Advisory Council Web
Metrics Task Group and was very active in the Web Analytics Association. Rest well, Joe.

31. O SON OF BEING!
Bring thyself to account each day ere thou art summoned to a reckoning; for death, unheralded, shall come upon thee and thou shalt be called to give account for thy deeds.

(Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

Sometimes you get stuck and try as you might, nothing comes out of it — it might be the wrong time for a solution or just the wrong approach to a solution. Stepping back and seeing things in perspective helps but sometimes all you can do is persevere… and ask for help — from friends, strangers, and God.

These days the world seems stuck. And badly needs unstucking…

In Iran, the 7 Baha’i leaders are stuck in a jail, falsely accused of crimes they never committed and we all fear for their lives. Please pray for them!

I will not even comment on the insanity of the battle in which I am stuck in my attempts to be a father…

All of this while Washington, DC, is stuck under record amounts of snow.

This morning on my way to pick my baby sitter, my car got stuck on her street as I was driving back towards the cleared road. It took me an hour and a half trying so many different ways to get unstuck. I pushed, I pulled, I tried forward, I tried backward. A nice lady let me borrow her shovel on three occasions, each attempt getting me closer to the goal but never actually enabling me to be free. What a metaphor for my life these past years! The harder I was trying, the deeper I was getting into the snow. At some point I asked for help from some Pakistani men. They came and tried to help to no avail. Then I decided to walk to the store to buy some sand (the idea of buying sand sounds insane to me but on a snowy day you do not have much choice). They did not carry sand but they had cat litter crystals so I tried that — again, to no avail. Finally I asked a group of young men from Nicaragua to help me and after a good wait during which they uncovered somebody else’s car, they came to my rescue and off I went…

So, I’ve been thinking to myself about the connection between stuckness and unstuckness, freedom and detachment.

Like water on a lotus leaf, like a mustard seed on the point of a pin, he who is not stuck to the senses – that is what I
call a brahmin.
(Dhammapada – Sayings of the Buddha)

The Virtues cards I peruse each day give good insights and suggestions. The one on peacefulness suggests giving up the love of power for the power of love. A beautiful friend send me today this quote to reflect on as I was sharing about my difficulties:

The more difficulties one sees in the world the more perfect one becomes. The more you plough and dig the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put the gold in the fire, the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding …the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees the more perfect one becomes. That is why, in all times, the Prophets of God have had tribulations and difficulties to withstand. The more often the captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing the more greater his knowledge becomes. Therefore I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties . . .

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

So, all these tests and tribulations are a good sign that God indeed loves me! Much to be grateful for! So, I decided to be grateful and I baked two banana breads this afternoon to take to the people who helped me in my attempts to unstuck my car from the snow. The Pakistani men were not at home but two shy yet kind ladies opened the door and while giving them the freshly baked banana bread, I told them of my gratitude for the help I received from strangers. The American lady who gave me a shovel was very kind as well and I gave her also a Baha’i prayer for peace — we both agreed that the world needs more helping strangers, shovels, banana bread and prayers

So, for every one who is stuck in this world, let’s give them a spiritual push. And a prayer:

Thou knowest full well, O my God, that tribulations have showered upon me from all directions and that no one can dispel or transmute them except Thee.  I know of a certainty, by virtue of my love for Thee, that Thou wilt never cause tribulations to befall any soul unless Thou desirest to exalt his station in Thy celestial Paradise and to buttress his heart in this earthly life with the bulwark of Thine all-compelling power, that it may not become inclined toward the vanities of this world.  Indeed Thou art well aware that under all conditions I would cherish the remembrance of Thee far more than the ownership of all that is in the heavens and on the earth.

Strengthen my heart, O my God, in Thine obedience and in Thy love, and grant that I may be clear of the entire company of Thine adversaries.  Verily, I swear by Thy glory that I yearn for naught besides Thyself, nor do I desire anything except Thy mercy, nor am I apprehensive of aught save Thy justice.  I beg Thee to forgive me as well as those whom Thou lovest, howsoever Thou pleasest.  Verily, Thou art the Almighty, the Bountiful.

Immensely exalted art Thou, O Lord of the heavens and earth, above the praise of all men, and may peace be upon Thy faithful servants and glory be unto God, the Lord of all the worlds.

The Báb

On a day which was highlighted by my six year old Sofia turning to me and tenderly telling me “Daddy, I really love you!”, I had another blessing — of spending wonderful time with two new friends from the “Old World”: one from Bulgaria, the other from Uzbekistan.

O ye close and dear friends of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá!
In the Orient scatter perfumes,
And shed splendours on the West.
Carry light unto the Bulgar,
And the Slav with life invest.
(Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 270)

It was so nourishing — and just fun — to share a Bulgarian dinner with these friends and reminisce about our similar paths, sharing the types of jokes you would get only if you had lived in that part of the world, in those days of human history. And then to share prayers and discuss the Baha’i Faith — with all the things we think we understand about it, and those that seem at least at first as insurmountable obstacles. And then to acknowledge humbly that we might not actually get it but hope that the heart would one day know:

O servant! Warn thou the servants of God not to reject that which they do not comprehend. Say, implore God to open to your hearts the portals of true understanding that ye may be apprised of that of which no one is apprised. Verily, He is the Giver, the Forgiving, the Compassionate.
(Baha’u'llah, Tablets of Baha’u'llah, p. 188)

Life is a journey and I could not have asked for a better “new beginning” of the next chapter of my life than spending an evening at the Prayer Station with new friends from the Old World.

O SON OF MY HANDMAID!
Quaff from the tongue of the merciful the stream of divine mystery, and behold from the dayspring of divine utterance the unveiled splendor of the daystar of wisdom.  Sow the seeds of My divine wisdom in the pure soil of the heart, and water them with the waters of certitude, that the hyacinths of knowledge and wisdom may spring up fresh and green in the holy city of the heart.
—Bahá’u’lláh, The Hidden Words

The first time I willingly went to a church service — albeit to be with a beautiful friend who had suggested the idea — was the first time I realized that I was yearning for certitude. It was the Easter service at a Greek Orthodox church in Odessa, Ukraine, during my last year of studies in that most unique Soviet city… As the priest announced “Christ has risen” I looked at the nearby ladies beautifully solemn with their heads covered with lace shawls. What I saw on their faces was something I had never seen, something I had never had, something I had never experienced, something I had no idea I needed, something I desperately wanted to have — certitude! For their faces were beaming with such joy for Christ’s resurrection that only certitude — a faith with not a hint of doubt — could have given. They believed it beyond the words and you could see it in their eyes! And I wanted it! I wanted the ability to believe and trust in something I could not physically see in just that same way…

The next morning, as I was walking along the blossoming trees on my way to my friend’s dormitory, a song came to my mind, ready with its lyrics and melody, a song of a “young sapling in the orchard of humanity”. A few months later, I was sharing about this song with a wonderful person from Canada who was telling me about the Baha’i Faith and who commented on how this metaphor of the sapling reminded her of the Baha’i Writings:

Ye are the saplings which the hand of Loving-kindness hath planted in the soil of mercy, and which the showers of bounty have made to flourish.
(Baha’u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 25)

O Peerless Lord! Be Thou a shelter for this poor child and a kind and forgiving Master unto this erring and unhappy soul. O Lord! Though we are but worthless plants, yet we belong to Thy garden of roses. Though saplings without leaves and blossoms, yet we are a part of Thine orchard. Nurture this plant then through the outpourings of the clouds of Thy tender mercy and quicken and refresh this sapling through the reviving breath of Thy spiritual springtime. Suffer him to become heedful, discerning and noble, and grant that he may attain eternal life and abide in Thy Kingdom for evermore.
- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

My silent prayer 19 years ago had been answered through my introduction to the Baha’i Faith…

But as Adib Taherzadeh explains in his talks on “Drawing Nigh to Baha’u'llah“, the gift of faith is something that should be nurtured, protected, cared for. Because there will be time when it will get tested…

During the last week I went through such a sequence of tests and difficulties — physical, emotional, spiritual — that I felt that my own faith was being tested. Now, trials and tribulations have been nothing new to me in the past two years but I have learned to pray for deliverance (and admittedly a lot of the times for a certain outcome) that I know, one way or another things eventually get better.

On Tuesday morning, as I was preparing for my morning prayers, I had this sudden awareness that all of these tests have been with the sole purpose of cultivating my faith and transforming it into certitude. And because I clearly did not have certitude, I had to pray for it.

The result has been nothing short of remarkable. Within hours I was able to withstand with serenity a tumultuous turn of events that spoke loud and clear that this is all part of God’s plan for me, even though I have no idea what its outcome will be. Then after work, at a prayer meeting, I met two wonderful people whose sincere interest in the Baha’i Faith gave me a new inspiration for the direction of the Prayer Station and my own service to the Faith! Praying for certitude indeed works!

O Lord my God!  O Thou Helper of the feeble, Succorer of the poor and Deliverer of the helpless who turn unto Thee.

With utmost lowliness I raise my suppliant hands to Thy kingdom of beauty and fervently call upon Thee with my inner tongue, saying:  O God, my God!  Aid me to adore Thee, strengthen my loins to serve Thee; assist me by Thy grace in my servitude to Thee; suffer me to remain steadfast in my obedience to Thee; pour forth upon me the liberal effusions of Thy bounty, let the glances of the eye of Thy loving-kindness be directed towards me, and immerse me in the ocean of Thy forgiveness.  Grant that I may be confirmed in my allegiance to Thy Faith, and bestow upon me a fuller measure of certitude and assurance, that I may wholly dispense with the world, may turn my face with entire devotion towards Thy face, be reinforced by the compelling power of proofs and testimonies, and, invested with majesty and power, may pass beyond every region of heaven and earth.  Verily Thou art the Merciful, the All-Glorious, the Kind, the Compassionate.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

I bear witness to Thy unity and Thy oneness, and that Thou art God, and that there is none other God beside Thee. Thou hast, verily, revealed Thy Cause, fulfilled Thy Covenant, and opened wide the door of Thy grace to all that dwell in heaven and on earth.
(From the Baha’i Holy Writings)

Dear friends! May your new year be a healthy and happy one!

I invite you and your loved ones to the first of two devotional discussions on the Eternal Covenant of God. The first one, this Monday, Jan 4th, will focus on how the Baha’i Faith fulfills God’s covenant with humanity. The second one, next Monday, Jan 11th, will focus on what is humanity’s role in fulfilling its part of the Covenant with God.

We will start with a light dinner at 7:30 pm to be followed by an opening prayer and the discussion itself.

Feel free to invite anyone who might be interested in learning more about the Baha’i Faith and its promise for humanity. Letting me know if you plan on coming would make it easier to plan the refreshments but not letting me know should not prevent you from joining me.

He, verily, rewardeth beyond measure them that endure with patience.
(Baha’u'llah, Gems of Divine Mysteries, p. 72)

Last week was the longest uninterrupted period of quality time I got to spent with my precious girls in a year. We went on vacation at the Baha’i Social and Economic Development conference in Orlando, FL. There were many touching, joyful moments and many frustrating ones. I had an opportunity to reflect on many things, one of which was the need for patience in parenting.

As I was walking with Sofia and Juliet towards a nearby movie theater to see “Princess and the Frog”, we had to cross a construction site which had fenced a walkway to guide the pedestrians safely to their destination. The girls joyfully hopped and walked and sang and stopped as we were moving slowly ahead, instantly absorbed by every little thing that grabbed their attention, while I was trying to usher them patiently so we get to the movie theater on time.

At that moment I imagined us all on our path from the perspective of God, Who gives us a direction, shows us the way — sometimes fenced, other times open — gently nudges us to move along, reminding us what the ultimate destination is while never becoming impatient as we absentmindedly get focused on things of lesser importance. Why that is, I thought? Because He loves us, and He knows that all these little distractions are part of our lives. Difficult as these distractions make finding the balance of life, without them we would be sterile masters of the pursuit of check-box lists of achievements. Each little blade of grass Sofia picked or each little pebble Juliet gathered from the path we were on, were for them as important as the ambition of getting on time to see the latest Disney movie. As I observed them immersed in the moment, I was gratefully rejoicing in the gift God had given me — the gift of patience. Or rather, the gift of an opportunity to be patient!

For as God was addressing Evan Baxter in the movie “Evan Almighty”:

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

So, I have been given an immense opportunity to be patient in my sincere attempts to be the best father I can be. And God is a masterful, patient teacher! His Messenger too, gives us marvelous guidance. As a newly discovered friend pointed: “Here is one opportunity to be patient: read the Tablet known as Suriy-i Sabr (Surih of Patience), or Lawh-i Ayyub (the Tablet of Job) by Baha’u'llah“!

A friend sent a link to the latest Seasons Greetings by United Way:

You might notice a familiar quote which comes from these words of Baha’u'llah, the Prophet-Founder of the Baha’i Faith:

The utterance of God is a lamp, whose light is these words: Ye are the fruits of one tree, and the leaves of one branch. Deal ye one with another with the utmost love and harmony, with friendliness and fellowship. He Who is the Day Star of Truth beareth Me witness! So powerful is the light of unity that it can illuminate the whole earth. The one true God, He Who knoweth all things, Himself testifieth to the truth of these words.
(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 288)

At the Ruhi 3 study circle tonight we had an interesting discussion if it is more important to have the Author of this quote be recognized or whether the fact that the quotation’s beauty is being recognized is sufficient.  I personally think that regardless of whether the quote is in the public domain or not, it should be recognized as it is used in a commercial statement by a major organization. Then again, I am not a copyrights lawyer… I can only wonder if the marketing person at United Way knew that the quote was by Baha’u'llah and chose not to mention Him or they simply liked a quote they came across somehow and did not bother to investigate who is its Author.  Yet, nowadays it takes only a second to search on Google for a quote and find out where it came from.

Purge your hearts from love of the world, and your tongues from calumny, and your limbs from whatsoever may withhold you from drawing nigh unto God, the Mighty, the All-Praised. Say: By the world is meant that which turneth you aside from Him Who is the Dawning-Place of Revelation, and inclineth you unto that which is unprofitable unto you. Verily, the thing that deterreth you, in this day, from God is worldliness in its essence. Eschew it, and approach the Most Sublime Vision, this shining and resplendent Seat.

Baha’u’llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 54.

Ever wondered what is unprofitable unto you? I have…