Befriended Stranger

Ever since I went to Bulgaria I have been contemplating on the question of what is authentic in me. The question was inspired by the observation of how much I fluctuated depending on who I was around. That was particularly obvious when I was around old friends who were not fully familiar with the meaning of the Baha’i Faith in my life. But that was also obvious from contemplating the differences that sometimes occur in my thinking and behavior depending on whether I am among people or on my own. So, I feel, this question, of finding the authentic me, is of paramount importance for my healing and spiritual growth.

Last night I started reading a fabulous book, “Big Mind / Big Heart“, which talks about the disowned voices we have hidden deep in our subconscious because they talk of things we are not proud of — I sure have a lot of those voices. The ability to embrace them is a key to giving them voice in a healthy way. But the book talks also about other voices of which we might not be aware — the voices that speak of something bigger than we limit ourselves to be.

This morning I woke up from a series of dreams which spoke to me of being embraced in the love and grace of God; which gave examples of strength and courage — an austrian swimmer champion in the Olympics who had only one arm (?!), and which sent me a message that a friend who wants and wills to help me has arrived in Arlington. I can’t shake the feeling of joy that sense of being immersed in God’s mercy!

So, now I am getting ready to go back to the Arlington County Fair where I went last night to be at the Baha’i booth with another wonderful friend. At some point I wandered around checking other exhibitors and then saw the competition tables — of vegetables grown, of jams canned, and of photographs taken by Arlingtonians — and I realized that I too, could participate in these competitions. The zucchini I grew were at least as big as the winner; the sour cherry jam is probably not much worse than those shown on the winners’ table; as for my photography, who knows, I am new in it but surely willing to learn.

This all takes me back to the question of the authentic self. It seems to me I have limited my perception of who I am for such a long time that it has been disservice to both myself and my creator. Time to say hello to the world. World, say hello to Mitko

O God, Who art the Author of all Manifestations, the Source of all Sources, the Fountain-Head of all Revelations, and the Well-Spring of all Lights! I testify that by Thy Name the heaven of understanding hath been adorned, and the ocean of utterance hath surged, and the dispensations of Thy providence have been promulgated unto the followers of all religions.

I beseech Thee so to enrich me as to dispense with all save Thee, and be made independent of any one except Thyself. Rain down, then, upon me out of the clouds of Thy bounty that which shall profit me in every world of Thy worlds. Assist me, then, through Thy strengthening grace, so to serve Thy Cause amidst Thy servants that I may show forth what will cause me to be remembered as long as Thine own kingdom endureth and Thy dominion will last.

This is Thy servant, O my Lord, who with his whole being hath turned unto the horizon of Thy bounty, and the ocean of Thy grace, and the heaven of Thy gifts. Do with me then as becometh Thy majesty, and Thy glory, and Thy bounteousness, and Thy grace.

Thou, in truth, art the God of strength and power, Who art meet to answer them that pray Thee. There is no God save Thee, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.

(Baha’u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha’u'llah, p. 59)

O FRIEND!
In the garden of thy heart plant naught but the rose of love, and from the nightingale of affection and desire loosen not thy hold. Treasure the companionship of the righteous and eschew all fellowship with the ungodly.

(Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words)

O MY CHILDREN!
I fear lest, bereft of the melody of the dove of heaven, ye will sink back to the shades of utter loss, and, never having gazed upon the beauty of the rose, return to water and clay.

(Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words)

…”Love is a veil betwixt the lover and the beloved.” Here love becometh an obstruction and a barrier, and all else save Him is but a curtain. The wise Sana’i hath written:

Never the covetous heart shall come to the stealer of hearts,

Never the shrouded soul unite with beauty’s rose.

(Baha’u'llah, The Four Valleys, p. 60)

O YE PEOPLE THAT HAVE MINDS TO KNOW AND EARS TO HEAR!
The first call of the Beloved is this: O mystic nightingale! Abide not but in the rose-garden of the spirit. O messenger of the Solomon of love! Seek thou no shelter except in the Sheba of the well-beloved, and O immortal phoenix! dwell not save on the mount of faithfulness. Therein is thy habitation, if on the wings of thy soul thou soarest to the realm of the infinite and seekest to attain thy goal.

(Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words)

Isaiah saith: “The Lord alone shall be exalted in that Day.” Concerning the greatness of the Revelation He saith: “Enter into the rock, and hide thee in the dust, for fear of the Lord, and for the glory of His majesty.” And in another connection He saith: “The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose. It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing: the glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon, they shall see the glory of the Lord, and the splendor of our God.”

(Baha’u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 146)

“Thou art like unto a blooming rose in the rose-garden of the love of God and thou art like unto a fruitful tree on the bank of the stream of knowledge of God. I beg of God that thou mayest always enjoy spiritual nearness and ever be rejoiced.”

Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v1, p. 209

“This fragrance is just as thou didst write, “the fragrance of the rose-garden of the unity of the East and West.” I hope that daily these fragrances may become more powerful and more diffused throughout the world.”

Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v1, p. 127

Last night I was sitting at the table helping my older daughter color welcoming cards to be used at the upcoming Feast of Rahmat (Mercy) which she and her baby sister will host next Monday. As she was coloring diligently, trying to stay within the lines (apparently a very important thing for a 4 1/2 year old one, and if you truly reflect on it, important for all of us), she was very concerned that she might make a mistake and cross the lines. I told her not to worry about it, that we all make mistakes but God is forgiving.

And then she asked the question that really made me pause:

“Does God like mistakes?”

I quickly answered:

“God likes it when we learn from our mistakes”.

The start of this talk, in fact, was inspired by our discussion of another mistake that had taken place the previous day — when she had cut, as artistically as she could, the hair of her 2 1/2 year old sister. Her mom (who shared with her that in her own youth she had done exactly the same to her own sister) and our daughter had reflected on whether what she had done was good, and we all praised her for telling the truth. (She clearly enjoys getting praise and confirmation for telling the truth.)

So, does God like it when we make mistakes? Does God like the mistakes we make? Seems to me that just as God loves us, He loves anything that would make us grow. So, as long as we learn from the mistakes, it is OK to make them. The trick is not to get in the habit of repeating them.

I have been trying to grow a garden of several vegetable plants, some berries, and a few grape vines. My goal is to make the grape vine climb on a trellis so we could enjoy the beautiful autumn evenings under the cool skies, broad leaves and succulent fruits. The way to make this happen is by lovingly but mercilessly trimming all the branches that the vine insist on growing in the wrong directions so that all its energy is spent for growth in the right direction, “the chosen highway“.

Does the vine like it when once a week I trim the newly sprouted leaves? Probably not. Is the vine grateful that it is reaching heights that only a year ago were unthinkable? Probably yes.

Do I like to see the vine grow all these extra sprouts? Yes, of course — these are signs of healthy growth. Do I call these extra sprouts mistakes? Of course, not — probably only the vine, in its lack of understanding, would label them as mistakes, seeing that I constantly prune them.

So, shall we call the mistakes we make “mistakes”? Perhaps we have no choice but to stick to a commonly agreed and accepted vocabulary, but we should never forget that in the eyes of God we all are loved, and so are our mistakes.

God is the greatest gardener and the best parent. The rest of us, whether gardeners-wanna-be or parents-in-permanent-training, should rely on His loving, and indeed forgiving, assistance:

O God! Educate these children. These children are the plants of Thine orchard, the flowers of Thy meadow, the roses of Thy garden. Let Thy rain fall upon them; let the Sun of Reality shine upon them with Thy love. Let Thy breeze refresh them in order that they may be trained, grow and develop, and appear in the utmost beauty. Thou art the Giver. Thou art the Compassionate.

- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

I very well remember the joy of having 1 (one) banana as the highlight of the new year celebration when growing in socialist Bulgaria. My father would wait in line for hours to bring 4 (four) bananas, one for each family member, and sometimes also 4 (four) oranges. Postponing the pleasure of taking the first bite was part of the pleasure. We all looked forward to this moment. We even had our own substitute: my father grew in his orchard a particularly delicious pear which he likened to a banana.

Then the 90s came and Bulgaria was not anymore restricted by economic isolation and the first thing street vendors did, in addition to pirated CDs, was to sell affordable bananas. I know it well, because I was the guy with the CDs, standing next to the guy with the bananas.

Now, I hardly eat bananas. My younger daughter, though, is a voracious banana eater. She probably eats two a day. I am a seasonal food eater — these days I love cherries and peaches. Few days ago I made a batch of sour cherry jam from the two sour cherry trees we planted in front of the house the year we moved. There were 10 little jars — enough to share with the neighbors and the Armenian coffee shop owner who always takes the time to talk with me about life, universe and everything else.

Now that I have been for almost 18 years in the U.S., I am appreciating more and more the bounty of growing in the family of gardeners. There is mystical joy in seeing how the grapes I planted, the apple trees I planted, the vegetable garden I planted are starting to produce fresh fruits and vegetables. I might not be as skilled a gardener as my parents, but I am deeply grateful to them (although back then I was not as happy camper about it) for making me work every weekend on the family gardens.

As I am reminiscing on this all, the New York Times posted a very enlightening article on the artificially low cost of bananas:

ONCE you become accustomed to gas at $4 a gallon, brace yourself for the next shocking retail threshold: bananas reaching $1 a pound. At that price, Americans may stop thinking of bananas as a cheap staple…

One of the rhetorical questions the article asks is “What other fruit can you slice onto your breakfast cereal?”. Well, you can try to be creative and seasonal too: you can try peaches and even melon with milk-based cereal. You can switch, just as Europeans would prefer it anyway, to yogurt instead of milk, and then the possibilities are limitless. That is how we have muesli.

The first recipe I ever brought home and ask my mom to help me make it, was plain yogurt with shredded apples and honey. It was one of the snacks we were given in the daycare. I must have been four and a half years old, just as my older daughter today.

As I am reflecting on the role of fatherhood these days, I am optimistic about the human ability to adapt to life. Yes, we had it good for many years with cheep produce flown from thousands of miles; and yes, we can enjoy our local produce just as well.

So here goes cheer to all local gardeners!

P.S. It just dawned on me the irony of what I was writing just as my coworkers were praising the banana bread I brought to the office. Indeed, you cannot make banana bread without bananas.