Befriended Stranger

I am back after five nurturing days in the wilderness of Yosemite National Park which was both a journey back to nature, and back to myself.

O thou who hast set foot in the wilderness of knowledge and taken abode within the ark of wisdom! Not until thou hast grasped the mysteries concealed in that which We shall relate unto thee canst thou hope to attain to the stations of faith and certitude in the Cause of God and in those who are the Manifestations of His Cause, the Daysprings of His Command, the Treasuries of His revelation, and the Repositories of His knowledge. Shouldst thou fail in this, thou wouldst be numbered with them that have not striven for the Cause of God, nor inhaled the fragrance of faith from the raiment of certitude, nor scaled the heights of the divine unity, nor yet recognized the stations of divine singleness within the Embodiments of praise and the Essences of sanctity.

Strive then, O My brother, to apprehend this matter, that the veils may be lifted from the face of thy heart and that thou mayest be reckoned among them whom God hath graced with such penetrating vision as to behold the most subtle realities of His dominion, to fathom the mysteries of His kingdom, to perceive the signs of His transcendent Essence in this mortal world, and to attain a station wherein one seeth no distinction amongst His creatures and findeth no flaw in the creation of the heavens and the earth.3

(Baha’u'llah, Gems of Divine Mysteries, p. 12)

O My Brother! A pure heart is as a mirror; cleanse it with the burnish of love and severance from all save God, that the true sun may shine within it and the eternal morning dawn. Then wilt thou clearly see the meaning of “Neither doth My earth nor My heaven contain Me,  but the heart of My faithful servant containeth Me.” And thou wilt take up thy life in thine hand, and with infinite longing cast it before the new Beloved One.

Whensoever the light of Manifestation of the King of Oneness settleth upon the throne of the heart and soul, His shining becometh visible in every limb and member. At that time the mystery of the famed tradition gleameth out of the darkness: “A servant is drawn unto Me in prayer until I answer him; and when I have answered him, I become the ear wherewith he heareth….” For thus the Master of the house hath appeared within His home, and all the pillars of the dwelling are ashine with His light. And the action and effect of the light are from the Light-Giver; so it is that all move through Him and arise by His will. And this is that spring whereof the near ones drink, as it is said: “A fount whereof the near unto God shall drink….”

(Baha’u'llah, The Seven Valleys, p. 21)

I am attending, as advised by my boss, a course on assertiveness. The timing could not be any more appropriate as I am going through a life shift resulting in the gradual declaration of my self worth. It is fascinating to reflect that all negative behavior — including all non-assertive behavior — whether passive or aggressive or passive-aggressive, are based on FEAR, or as our teacher phrased it, False Evidence Appearing Real.

The Virtues Project has a beautiful definition:

Assertiveness is speaking one’s truth with peaceful confidence. It is discerning the song we were given to sing and using our talents as a gift to the world. We have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right. We tell the truth about what is just. Assertiveness comes from knowing our own worth, and honoring the dignity of who we are. We stand on our own holy ground, and set boundaries without guilt. We never beg or make demands. We ask for what we need by making simple, positive requests. We treat ourselves with respect and expect respect at all times.

Dost thou reckon thyself a puny form, when within thee the universe is folded?
(Imam Ali)

As I am typing this, I am also printing copies of Marianne Williamson‘s famous quote for my classmates:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
(Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3)

But for those wondering what Baha’u'llah has to say on fear, The Hidden Words have the answer:

O SON OF MAN!
Thou art My dominion and My dominion perisheth not; wherefore fearest thou thy perishing? Thou art My light and My light shall never be extinguished; why dost thou dread extinction? Thou art My glory and My glory fadeth not; thou art My robe and My robe shall never be outworn. Abide then in thy love for Me, that thou mayest find Me in the realm of glory.
(Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

Today, during Tae Kwan Do practice, I was trying to mentally visualize pushing my body higher for a kick, when I realized that sometimes very recently I’d had a feeling long forgotten — that of  soaring in my dream. I used to fly in my dreams a lot during my childhood and my dad always sad that it was a sign I was growing. I would use my hands as wings, sometimes; other times I would just push myself off an imaginary layer of air and go on a higher level. It was a nice realization that I have not lost this feeling of free flying. Perhaps I am growing again?

I’ve often wondered what keeps us down. It is so subtle sometimes — what could be a safety anchor in one situation could be a drowning weight in another. Sometimes, what holds us down is what others tells us about us; other times, it is what we tell ourselves.

Last night my brother’s father-in-law passed away after having been very sick and bed-ridden for years. When I called my sister-in-law to offer my condolences, she agreed with me that he is now in a better place. And as I prayed for the progress of his soul, I wondered again what it is that frees the wings of our souls. Is physical death the only way to be free of the ballast of life?

Enter thou My presence, that thou mayest behold what the eye of the universe hath never beheld, and hear that which the ear of the whole creation hath never heard, that haply thou mayest free thyself from the mire of vague fancies, and set thy face towards the Most Sublime Station, wherein this Wronged One calleth aloud: “The Kingdom is God’s, the Almighty, the All-Praised!” We fain would hope that through thine exertions the wings of men may be sanctified from the mire of self and desire, and be made worthy to soar in the atmosphere of God’s love. Wings that are besmirched with mire can never soar. Unto this testify they who are the exponents of justice and equity, and yet the people are in evident doubt.
(Baha’u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 130)

O servants! Lifeless is the body that is bereft of a soul, and withered the heart that is devoid of the remembrance of its Lord. Commune with the remembrance of the Friend and shun the enemy. Your enemy is such things as ye have acquired of your own inclination, to which ye have firmly clung, and whereby ye have sullied your souls. The soul hath been created for the remembrance of the Friend; safeguard its purity. The tongue hath been created to bear witness to God; pollute it not with the mention of the wayward.

Baha’u’llah, The Tabernacle of Unity P. 68

Know also that the soul is endowed with two wings: should it soar in the atmosphere of love and contentment, then it will be related to the All-Merciful, and should it fly in the atmosphere of self and desire, then it will pertain to the Evil One; may God shield and protect us and protect you therefrom, O ye who perceive! Should the soul become ignited with the fire of the love of God, it is called benevolent and pleasing unto God, but should it be consumed with the fire of passion, it is known as the concupiscent soul.

Baha’u’llah, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts P. 154

Today I had a fascinating experience which illustrated to me how far we are from truly knowing ourselves, yet strive to know ourselves we must:

True loss is for him whose days have been spent in utter ignorance of his self.
(Baha’u'llah, Tablets of Baha’u'llah, p. 156)

I had been taking a beginner’s class in tennis over the past few weeks. Admittedly, for a number of reasons I did not attend all the classes but today, at the last class, the teacher and I had an interesting realization. So far, I had been (I assume) a torture for my teacher, and myself, for I had such a poor hand coordination that the balls would go in any possible direction but the one intended. That is, until today the teacher suggested “Why don’t you play backhand with left hand alone”. Then all of a sudden, I started hitting balls naturally and with precision both of us were surprised with — admittedly still at a beginner’s level. Then we tried switching what would have been my forehand to be my backhand. And all of a sudden, it became apparent that if I am not left-handed, I am at least ambidextrous! Indeed, we never stop learning, and we certainly never stop learning about ourselves!

A dear friend sent me this presentation, and it made me reflect and share:

On the day of Naw Ruz, I was putting two dishes aside after having washed them, and I dropped them. One got broken, one was left intact. I thought to myself, how appropriate a metaphor — of keeping what is worth and throwing away what is not.

Then on the 9th day of Ridvan, I had brought two vases for the roses I used to decorate and then give away to the friends. The wind was strong and while I was away it knocked the vases — one broke, the other survived. Another reminder that some things survive and some don’t, but we move on.

Time to unclutter and cleanse:

59. O SON OF BEING!
Thy heart is My home; sanctify it for My descent. Thy spirit is My place of revelation; cleanse it for My manifestation.
(Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

We are interconnected, like rippling waves. From time to time we get glimpses of this interconnectedness but more often than not they are so subtle that we do not even notice them. Which makes the times when it is impossible to miss those glimpses, even more precious…

Yesterday I got a pleasant surprise when the apartment building’s manager — a very sweet young woman from Yemen who grew up in Germany — sent me an email that she would like to come to the Prayer Station. I was so overjoyed! In case you wonder why, and to put things in perspective, she’s been on my weekly invitation list since… June 2008. And even though on many occasions she had asked me to pray for her, it was the first time that she decided to join me…

When she arrived, she asked me if I knew why she came this time after all these invitations — I had no idea but she explained…

The previous week, she had contacted me to remind me that I need to clear up my apartment for carpet replacement. I had totally missed the message during my recent trip to Bulgaria so I had to take last Monday’s afternoon off from work to be able to move all the stuff to the balcony, kitchen and restroom — the only places not covered with carpeting. Then on Tuesday morning she called me to tell me that a mistake had been made and that in fact my carpet is not old enough and it will not be replaced. My reply was… “Oh, OK, no problem”. She felt badly about the mistake and offered to have the carpet cleaned to which I gratefully agreed.

So, yesterday she explained to me that she  was so surprised that I did not get mad at her as she was anticipating, that she decided to come to the prayer meeting to find out what makes me who I am. I hope this is not a post to brag about how calm I can be, so in full honesty I don’t know if I would have gotten mad on another more regular day but that day in particular I was most certainly very impacted by the passing of Joe Pagano which, putting everything else in perspective, had reminded me how fragile and precious life is,  and by the beginning of the Fast.

One way or another, she came to join the prayer meeting and a group of  five other souls — four Baha’is and a young woman of Catholic background — and we all had great time reading and praying for the equality of women and men.

I am so grateful for this confirmation, this glimpse into the power of the positive impact we all can have on each other, for the reminder that we all are indeed rippling waves of one sea, passing energy into the universe and onto each other…

O Lord! Cause our souls to depend upon the signs of Thy Oneness, our hearts to be dilated with the bounties of Thy Singleness, so that we may become united as are ripples on a waving sea; become harmonized as are the rays which shine forth from a brilliant light; so that our thoughts, opinions and feelings become as one reality from which the spirit of accord may be diffused throughout all regions.

Verily Thou art the Beneficent, the Bestower! Verily Thou art the Giver, the Mighty, the Loving, the Merciful!

(Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v1, p. 3)

Sometimes you get stuck and try as you might, nothing comes out of it — it might be the wrong time for a solution or just the wrong approach to a solution. Stepping back and seeing things in perspective helps but sometimes all you can do is persevere… and ask for help — from friends, strangers, and God.

These days the world seems stuck. And badly needs unstucking…

In Iran, the 7 Baha’i leaders are stuck in a jail, falsely accused of crimes they never committed and we all fear for their lives. Please pray for them!

I will not even comment on the insanity of the battle in which I am stuck in my attempts to be a father…

All of this while Washington, DC, is stuck under record amounts of snow.

This morning on my way to pick my baby sitter, my car got stuck on her street as I was driving back towards the cleared road. It took me an hour and a half trying so many different ways to get unstuck. I pushed, I pulled, I tried forward, I tried backward. A nice lady let me borrow her shovel on three occasions, each attempt getting me closer to the goal but never actually enabling me to be free. What a metaphor for my life these past years! The harder I was trying, the deeper I was getting into the snow. At some point I asked for help from some Pakistani men. They came and tried to help to no avail. Then I decided to walk to the store to buy some sand (the idea of buying sand sounds insane to me but on a snowy day you do not have much choice). They did not carry sand but they had cat litter crystals so I tried that — again, to no avail. Finally I asked a group of young men from Nicaragua to help me and after a good wait during which they uncovered somebody else’s car, they came to my rescue and off I went…

So, I’ve been thinking to myself about the connection between stuckness and unstuckness, freedom and detachment.

Like water on a lotus leaf, like a mustard seed on the point of a pin, he who is not stuck to the senses – that is what I
call a brahmin.
(Dhammapada – Sayings of the Buddha)

The Virtues cards I peruse each day give good insights and suggestions. The one on peacefulness suggests giving up the love of power for the power of love. A beautiful friend send me today this quote to reflect on as I was sharing about my difficulties:

The more difficulties one sees in the world the more perfect one becomes. The more you plough and dig the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put the gold in the fire, the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding …the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees the more perfect one becomes. That is why, in all times, the Prophets of God have had tribulations and difficulties to withstand. The more often the captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing the more greater his knowledge becomes. Therefore I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties . . .

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

So, all these tests and tribulations are a good sign that God indeed loves me! Much to be grateful for! So, I decided to be grateful and I baked two banana breads this afternoon to take to the people who helped me in my attempts to unstuck my car from the snow. The Pakistani men were not at home but two shy yet kind ladies opened the door and while giving them the freshly baked banana bread, I told them of my gratitude for the help I received from strangers. The American lady who gave me a shovel was very kind as well and I gave her also a Baha’i prayer for peace — we both agreed that the world needs more helping strangers, shovels, banana bread and prayers

So, for every one who is stuck in this world, let’s give them a spiritual push. And a prayer:

Thou knowest full well, O my God, that tribulations have showered upon me from all directions and that no one can dispel or transmute them except Thee.  I know of a certainty, by virtue of my love for Thee, that Thou wilt never cause tribulations to befall any soul unless Thou desirest to exalt his station in Thy celestial Paradise and to buttress his heart in this earthly life with the bulwark of Thine all-compelling power, that it may not become inclined toward the vanities of this world.  Indeed Thou art well aware that under all conditions I would cherish the remembrance of Thee far more than the ownership of all that is in the heavens and on the earth.

Strengthen my heart, O my God, in Thine obedience and in Thy love, and grant that I may be clear of the entire company of Thine adversaries.  Verily, I swear by Thy glory that I yearn for naught besides Thyself, nor do I desire anything except Thy mercy, nor am I apprehensive of aught save Thy justice.  I beg Thee to forgive me as well as those whom Thou lovest, howsoever Thou pleasest.  Verily, Thou art the Almighty, the Bountiful.

Immensely exalted art Thou, O Lord of the heavens and earth, above the praise of all men, and may peace be upon Thy faithful servants and glory be unto God, the Lord of all the worlds.

The Báb

O SON OF MY HANDMAID!
Quaff from the tongue of the merciful the stream of divine mystery, and behold from the dayspring of divine utterance the unveiled splendor of the daystar of wisdom.  Sow the seeds of My divine wisdom in the pure soil of the heart, and water them with the waters of certitude, that the hyacinths of knowledge and wisdom may spring up fresh and green in the holy city of the heart.
—Bahá’u’lláh, The Hidden Words

The first time I willingly went to a church service — albeit to be with a beautiful friend who had suggested the idea — was the first time I realized that I was yearning for certitude. It was the Easter service at a Greek Orthodox church in Odessa, Ukraine, during my last year of studies in that most unique Soviet city… As the priest announced “Christ has risen” I looked at the nearby ladies beautifully solemn with their heads covered with lace shawls. What I saw on their faces was something I had never seen, something I had never had, something I had never experienced, something I had no idea I needed, something I desperately wanted to have — certitude! For their faces were beaming with such joy for Christ’s resurrection that only certitude — a faith with not a hint of doubt — could have given. They believed it beyond the words and you could see it in their eyes! And I wanted it! I wanted the ability to believe and trust in something I could not physically see in just that same way…

The next morning, as I was walking along the blossoming trees on my way to my friend’s dormitory, a song came to my mind, ready with its lyrics and melody, a song of a “young sapling in the orchard of humanity”. A few months later, I was sharing about this song with a wonderful person from Canada who was telling me about the Baha’i Faith and who commented on how this metaphor of the sapling reminded her of the Baha’i Writings:

Ye are the saplings which the hand of Loving-kindness hath planted in the soil of mercy, and which the showers of bounty have made to flourish.
(Baha’u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 25)

O Peerless Lord! Be Thou a shelter for this poor child and a kind and forgiving Master unto this erring and unhappy soul. O Lord! Though we are but worthless plants, yet we belong to Thy garden of roses. Though saplings without leaves and blossoms, yet we are a part of Thine orchard. Nurture this plant then through the outpourings of the clouds of Thy tender mercy and quicken and refresh this sapling through the reviving breath of Thy spiritual springtime. Suffer him to become heedful, discerning and noble, and grant that he may attain eternal life and abide in Thy Kingdom for evermore.
- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

My silent prayer 19 years ago had been answered through my introduction to the Baha’i Faith…

But as Adib Taherzadeh explains in his talks on “Drawing Nigh to Baha’u'llah“, the gift of faith is something that should be nurtured, protected, cared for. Because there will be time when it will get tested…

During the last week I went through such a sequence of tests and difficulties — physical, emotional, spiritual — that I felt that my own faith was being tested. Now, trials and tribulations have been nothing new to me in the past two years but I have learned to pray for deliverance (and admittedly a lot of the times for a certain outcome) that I know, one way or another things eventually get better.

On Tuesday morning, as I was preparing for my morning prayers, I had this sudden awareness that all of these tests have been with the sole purpose of cultivating my faith and transforming it into certitude. And because I clearly did not have certitude, I had to pray for it.

The result has been nothing short of remarkable. Within hours I was able to withstand with serenity a tumultuous turn of events that spoke loud and clear that this is all part of God’s plan for me, even though I have no idea what its outcome will be. Then after work, at a prayer meeting, I met two wonderful people whose sincere interest in the Baha’i Faith gave me a new inspiration for the direction of the Prayer Station and my own service to the Faith! Praying for certitude indeed works!

O Lord my God!  O Thou Helper of the feeble, Succorer of the poor and Deliverer of the helpless who turn unto Thee.

With utmost lowliness I raise my suppliant hands to Thy kingdom of beauty and fervently call upon Thee with my inner tongue, saying:  O God, my God!  Aid me to adore Thee, strengthen my loins to serve Thee; assist me by Thy grace in my servitude to Thee; suffer me to remain steadfast in my obedience to Thee; pour forth upon me the liberal effusions of Thy bounty, let the glances of the eye of Thy loving-kindness be directed towards me, and immerse me in the ocean of Thy forgiveness.  Grant that I may be confirmed in my allegiance to Thy Faith, and bestow upon me a fuller measure of certitude and assurance, that I may wholly dispense with the world, may turn my face with entire devotion towards Thy face, be reinforced by the compelling power of proofs and testimonies, and, invested with majesty and power, may pass beyond every region of heaven and earth.  Verily Thou art the Merciful, the All-Glorious, the Kind, the Compassionate.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

He, verily, rewardeth beyond measure them that endure with patience.
(Baha’u'llah, Gems of Divine Mysteries, p. 72)

Last week was the longest uninterrupted period of quality time I got to spent with my precious girls in a year. We went on vacation at the Baha’i Social and Economic Development conference in Orlando, FL. There were many touching, joyful moments and many frustrating ones. I had an opportunity to reflect on many things, one of which was the need for patience in parenting.

As I was walking with Sofia and Juliet towards a nearby movie theater to see “Princess and the Frog”, we had to cross a construction site which had fenced a walkway to guide the pedestrians safely to their destination. The girls joyfully hopped and walked and sang and stopped as we were moving slowly ahead, instantly absorbed by every little thing that grabbed their attention, while I was trying to usher them patiently so we get to the movie theater on time.

At that moment I imagined us all on our path from the perspective of God, Who gives us a direction, shows us the way — sometimes fenced, other times open — gently nudges us to move along, reminding us what the ultimate destination is while never becoming impatient as we absentmindedly get focused on things of lesser importance. Why that is, I thought? Because He loves us, and He knows that all these little distractions are part of our lives. Difficult as these distractions make finding the balance of life, without them we would be sterile masters of the pursuit of check-box lists of achievements. Each little blade of grass Sofia picked or each little pebble Juliet gathered from the path we were on, were for them as important as the ambition of getting on time to see the latest Disney movie. As I observed them immersed in the moment, I was gratefully rejoicing in the gift God had given me — the gift of patience. Or rather, the gift of an opportunity to be patient!

For as God was addressing Evan Baxter in the movie “Evan Almighty”:

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

So, I have been given an immense opportunity to be patient in my sincere attempts to be the best father I can be. And God is a masterful, patient teacher! His Messenger too, gives us marvelous guidance. As a newly discovered friend pointed: “Here is one opportunity to be patient: read the Tablet known as Suriy-i Sabr (Surih of Patience), or Lawh-i Ayyub (the Tablet of Job) by Baha’u'llah“!