My home is the home of peace. My home is the home of joy and delight. My home is the home of laughter and exultation. Whosoever enters through the portals of this home, must go out with gladsome heart. This is the home of light; whosoever enters here must become illumined….
(Abdu’l-Baha)

What a joyous weekend I had! My dear parents arrived from Bulgaria on Friday night and on Saturday they reunited for the first time in three years with the granddaughters they helped raise. Seeing the joy on their faces — grandparents and granddaughters alike — as they embraced and hugged and kissed, gave me such a joy! Praised be God!

Then we all welcomed into my home my wonderful friends Roya Bauman and George Branyan who joined us with their lovely girls for a home cooked dinner and later on a beautiful evening of spiritual nourishment, uplifting music and fellowship — the last Musical Prayer Station for 2010.

I first heard Roya’s gorgeous soprano in 1996 in Rochester, NY, when she sang “O Baha’u'llah” at a Baha’i celebration there. That was the first time I ever heard this song and I was just amazed at the beauty of it. Later on, Roya’s husband George helped me fix the little car other generous Baha’i friends had given me so I could go to work. The amount of support I had received in those days, by the Baha’i friends at that community is unbelievable. Among them, a true star of selfless support to me was Akin — another dear friend who joined us last night and then stayed for one of those late night heart-to-heart talks, which solidified my decision to try my best to be a Baha’i — back then, and back now — talks about our lives’ journeys and what our hearts’ true calling is.

It was truly a night of the reunion of hearts!

Night hath succeeded day, and day hath succeeded night, and the hours and moments of your lives have come and gone, and yet none of you hath, for one instant, consented to detach himself from that which perisheth. Bestir yourselves, that the brief moments that are still yours may not be dissipated and lost. Even as the swiftness of lightning your days shall pass, and your bodies shall be laid to rest beneath a canopy of dust. What can ye then achieve? How can ye atone for your past failure?

(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 321)

I’ve had fascinating experiences these past weeks where on one hand I discovered beautiful friendships and experienced precious moments with loved ones yet was fully aware of how fleeting those moments are.  Taking photos of these moments is often my attempt to capture them and perhaps revisit them later and see them through different eyes but they still feel like different moments. This might be a paradox of living as a physical human being, immersed in a world in flux, with the awareness that my true self is of a different world, which is not fleeting — a world without time.

There is a certain subtle longing of the heart in appreciating a moment that you know will — sooner or later — be gone. Nothing could illustrate that better than my recent attempt to archive my laptop’s hard drive which resulted in the loss of thousands of photos I had taken of my lovely girls and other beautiful moments.  It was sudden, and it was gone… I was sad of course for losing those precious mementos but reminded myself that nothing, and nobody, can take away from me the moments where I have enjoyed life fully present, particularly when living it in the service of the ones I love. Just like this brilliant sand-dancing artist who brings us into the moment… and then the moment is gone… yet the beauty remains…

These three questions posed by Leo Tolstoy in a short story published in 1885 — more than a century later adapted into a marvelous children’s book “The Three Questions” by Jon J. Muth — guided me yesterday to a fascinating gift. In case you wonder what the answers to the three questions are, here you go:

Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side. For these, my dear boy, are the answer to what is most important in the world.

And here is how this all happened… Yesterday afternoon I saw a message on Facebook by a certain rocket scientist and audio magician friend who needed a ride for herself and her husband to the airport. Since I knew I was going to telecommute today and had the flexibility of time, I offered to help and have Kelly and Caeli stay at my apartment before their voyage. I had observed with fascination this remarkable couple whose wedding was certainly the most unique I had ever witnessed.

Refresh and Gladden – Live @ Tiny Planet – June 20th 2009 from Tiny Planet on Vimeo.

Kelly, whose Tiny Planet Studio inspired my Musical Prayer Station, had never been at my place before but Caeli, together with New Creation and TaliaSafa, was the first to perform at it, some 16 months ago.

An adventure ensued, starting with a trip to Goddard Space Flight Center to drop the Red Fire Track — with its precious grand piano cargo — off. On our way back through DC, we talked about music, dream jobs, playing with audio toys, the uncertainty of life, living in an oval house, and the guts to be different. I got asked a question if I am a musician, and as always I said, “No, but I am a singer”, explaining that I could never consider myself a musician since I’d never had a formal musical education. Later,at home, we sat around the dinner table to share prayers (somehow both Kelly and Caeli picked prayers I had never actually heard!) and I sang a prayer song to wish them safe travels. Kelly complimented  me on my singing saying that she had never actually heard my voice before — I answered jokingly that I had been talking the whole evening. But Caeli nailed it down, saying directly: “Mitko, you ARE a musician; stop retelling a false story…”

So, I guess it is time to admit, or rather make a statement: I am a musician!

As I was rushing through traffic this morning to make it on time at the airport for their flight to London, I was reflecting with gratitude on the gift of encouragement these friends gave me: the gift of honoring who I am without a false pretense! Thanks, Kelly and Caeli, and Bon Voyage!

The creative adult is the child who has survived.
— Ursula K. Le Guin

If you want to see the brave, look for those who can forgive. If you want to see the heroic, look at those who can love in return for hatred.
(Bhagavad Gita – Hindu scripture)

The afflictions which come to humanity sometimes tend to centre the consciousness upon the limitations, and this is a veritable prison. Release comes by making of the will a Door through which the confirmations of the Spirit come… The confirmations of the Spirit are all those powers and gifts which some are born with (and which men sometimes call genius), but for which others have to strive with infinite pains. They come to that man or woman who accepts his life with radiant acquiescence.
(Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 120)

The beginning of all things is the knowledge of God, and the end of all things is strict observance of whatsoever hath been sent down from the empyrean of the Divine Will that pervadeth all that is in the heavens and all that is on the earth.

- Baha’u’llah, Gleanings From the Writings of Baha’u’llah

Last night I had fun singing in Bulgarian an improvised version of Leonor Dely‘s “Amame” and “Dios Satisface” during Hillary Chapman‘s performance at the Tiny Planet Studio. Surrounded by friends and music I felt at home, even though home is several thousand miles away. Upon coming home I baked a birthday cake for my dear Juliet whose 5th birthday my dearest Bulgarian friends in the U.S., her sister Sofia and I will celebrate tonight.

Responding to a song I was singing while holding her, Juliet herself told me on Friday as we were playing in her kindergarten’s backyard:

Daddy, God lives here even though we can’t see Him!

The beginning of all things indeed starts with the knowledge that God is always with us, and with the recognition that every moment is perfect for honoring Him and all of us, His creation.

May we always be immersed in His ceaseless love!

Today I had an opportunity to make a choice — to continue the war or to choose peace. I chose peace. And it was a paradoxical choice because choosing peace on this particular occasion does not mean I am changing my mind about the necessity of what I am trying to establish. And the unfortunate reality is that the society in which I live basically demands that certain battles are won as real, not hypothetical wars.

Having a choice implies freedom; ignoring the existence of this choice implies something totally different.  So, by choosing the freedom of peace, I also chose appreciating what the day had to offer — an opportunity to spent some time playing with the girls in their school’s backyard, then helping them during their first piano lesson, offering a prayer for those who suffer and those who have left this physical realm. There is much to be said for the choice of peace. Abdu’l-Baha perhaps conveyed it the best possible way:

During the last six thousand years nations have hated one another, it is now time to stop. War must cease. Let us be united and love one another and await the result. We know the effects of war are bad. So let us try, as an experiment, peace, and if the results of peace are bad, then we can choose if it would be better to go back to the old state of war! Let us in any case make the experiment. If we see that unity brings Light we shall continue it. For six thousand years we have been walking on the left-hand path; let us walk on the right-hand path now. We have passed many centuries in darkness, let us advance towards the light.
(Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 61)

O thou who hast set foot in the wilderness of knowledge and taken abode within the ark of wisdom! Not until thou hast grasped the mysteries concealed in that which We shall relate unto thee canst thou hope to attain to the stations of faith and certitude in the Cause of God and in those who are the Manifestations of His Cause, the Daysprings of His Command, the Treasuries of His revelation, and the Repositories of His knowledge. Shouldst thou fail in this, thou wouldst be numbered with them that have not striven for the Cause of God, nor inhaled the fragrance of faith from the raiment of certitude, nor scaled the heights of the divine unity, nor yet recognized the stations of divine singleness within the Embodiments of praise and the Essences of sanctity.

Strive then, O My brother, to apprehend this matter, that the veils may be lifted from the face of thy heart and that thou mayest be reckoned among them whom God hath graced with such penetrating vision as to behold the most subtle realities of His dominion, to fathom the mysteries of His kingdom, to perceive the signs of His transcendent Essence in this mortal world, and to attain a station wherein one seeth no distinction amongst His creatures and findeth no flaw in the creation of the heavens and the earth.3

(Baha’u'llah, Gems of Divine Mysteries, p. 12)

O My Brother! A pure heart is as a mirror; cleanse it with the burnish of love and severance from all save God, that the true sun may shine within it and the eternal morning dawn. Then wilt thou clearly see the meaning of “Neither doth My earth nor My heaven contain Me,  but the heart of My faithful servant containeth Me.” And thou wilt take up thy life in thine hand, and with infinite longing cast it before the new Beloved One.

Whensoever the light of Manifestation of the King of Oneness settleth upon the throne of the heart and soul, His shining becometh visible in every limb and member. At that time the mystery of the famed tradition gleameth out of the darkness: “A servant is drawn unto Me in prayer until I answer him; and when I have answered him, I become the ear wherewith he heareth….” For thus the Master of the house hath appeared within His home, and all the pillars of the dwelling are ashine with His light. And the action and effect of the light are from the Light-Giver; so it is that all move through Him and arise by His will. And this is that spring whereof the near ones drink, as it is said: “A fount whereof the near unto God shall drink….”

(Baha’u'llah, The Seven Valleys, p. 21)

The Virtues Project has a beautiful definition:

Assertiveness is speaking one’s truth with peaceful confidence. It is discerning the song we were given to sing and using our talents as a gift to the world. We have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right. We tell the truth about what is just. Assertiveness comes from knowing our own worth, and honoring the dignity of who we are. We stand on our own holy ground, and set boundaries without guilt. We never beg or make demands. We ask for what we need by making simple, positive requests. We treat ourselves with respect and expect respect at all times.

Dost thou reckon thyself a puny form, when within thee the universe is folded?
(Imam Ali)

As I am typing this, I am also printing copies of Marianne Williamson‘s famous quote for my classmates:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
(Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3)

But for those wondering what Baha’u'llah has to say on fear, The Hidden Words have the answer:

O SON OF MAN!
Thou art My dominion and My dominion perisheth not; wherefore fearest thou thy perishing? Thou art My light and My light shall never be extinguished; why dost thou dread extinction? Thou art My glory and My glory fadeth not; thou art My robe and My robe shall never be outworn. Abide then in thy love for Me, that thou mayest find Me in the realm of glory.
(Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

I’ve often wondered what keeps us down. It is so subtle sometimes — what could be a safety anchor in one situation could be a drowning weight in another. Sometimes, what holds us down is what others tells us about us; other times, it is what we tell ourselves.

Last night my brother’s father-in-law passed away after having been very sick and bed-ridden for years. When I called my sister-in-law to offer my condolences, she agreed with me that he is now in a better place. And as I prayed for the progress of his soul, I wondered again what it is that frees the wings of our souls. Is physical death the only way to be free of the ballast of life?

Enter thou My presence, that thou mayest behold what the eye of the universe hath never beheld, and hear that which the ear of the whole creation hath never heard, that haply thou mayest free thyself from the mire of vague fancies, and set thy face towards the Most Sublime Station, wherein this Wronged One calleth aloud: “The Kingdom is God’s, the Almighty, the All-Praised!” We fain would hope that through thine exertions the wings of men may be sanctified from the mire of self and desire, and be made worthy to soar in the atmosphere of God’s love. Wings that are besmirched with mire can never soar. Unto this testify they who are the exponents of justice and equity, and yet the people are in evident doubt.
(Baha’u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 130)

O servants! Lifeless is the body that is bereft of a soul, and withered the heart that is devoid of the remembrance of its Lord. Commune with the remembrance of the Friend and shun the enemy. Your enemy is such things as ye have acquired of your own inclination, to which ye have firmly clung, and whereby ye have sullied your souls. The soul hath been created for the remembrance of the Friend; safeguard its purity. The tongue hath been created to bear witness to God; pollute it not with the mention of the wayward.

Baha’u’llah, The Tabernacle of Unity P. 68

Know also that the soul is endowed with two wings: should it soar in the atmosphere of love and contentment, then it will be related to the All-Merciful, and should it fly in the atmosphere of self and desire, then it will pertain to the Evil One; may God shield and protect us and protect you therefrom, O ye who perceive! Should the soul become ignited with the fire of the love of God, it is called benevolent and pleasing unto God, but should it be consumed with the fire of passion, it is known as the concupiscent soul.

Baha’u’llah, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts P. 154