Befriended Stranger

As I am preparing for the Ruhi 3 study circle tomorrow, I wanted to share a few ideas for slowing down (hurried) kids of all ages that in my experience work well. And slowing down to the pace of life is a key skill for life, particularly for prayerful life.

When I have my daughters over, before saying prayers we often start by reading a book or two on mindful meditation — that helps slow them down and seems to make the prayers particularly meaningful. The girls seem to connect especially to “Each Breath A Smile“. Another one that has been helpful is “Peaceful Piggy Meditation” — the neat thing about this book is that is has the steps for a simple but powerful experiment in a jar which demonstrates how meditation works by slowing down the tornadoes of thoughts in our minds.

As much of the emphasis in Ruhi 3 is on story telling, learning about the history of religion through stories can be a very powerful experience for all children, whether young or just young at heart. Consistent with the theme of progressive revelation, I highly recommend the book “Immortal Heroines” which tells the stories of the women in the holy households of God’s manifestations.

Since this is the first time I tutor a Ruhi 3 study circle on my own, I asked a more experienced friend, Sharona, to share her ideas about making a Ruhi 3 study circle successful. What she shared is so good that I wanted to post it, with her permission:

“That’s great that you are starting a Ruhi 3 study circle.  There is so much to say about this book.  Here are some thoughts from my experience.

1.  I would say it’s important to try to create the type of experience in the study circle that sets an example to the participants about the atmosphere you hope they will create when they work with children.  You are modeling teaching for them in your service as a tutor.

2.  I usually ask for each participant to sign up to bring devotions and snack to class, so they have an opportunity to serve.

3. I also spend a lot of time in Unit 2 having each participant practice in front of the group teaching a quote, a song, a story, and a game from the lessons in the book.  It’s important to spend a lot of time helping them build the skills they will need for the lessons and also going through the material in the lessons with them so they become familiar with it.

4. I would also be sure to include time for memorization in each class so the participants can learn the quotes that they will be teaching the children.

5. Make sure to review the sections you are going to tutor each week very carefully and come up with additional activities, exercises, and thought provoking questions as appropriate, as this will enhance the participants’ experience.

6.  In Unit 1, I often ask people to share examples from their own lives as students when they were younger where appropriate.  It can also be useful to have an all day session sometime during the second Unit of the course so you can spend time with the group having them teach games, songs, and stories.

The course should take 40 hours, which is usually about 4 or 5 months.  Don’t feel the need to rush it, as the material is very rich and the participants will really need to feel confident if they are going to teach the lessons to children.  Also, I would talk about the practice often with them so they know they are expected to teach a lesson to a group of children before the course is over.

And, as much as possible, help the class to be lively and creative.  You are there to draw out their gems, just as they will do to their students.”

I should have listened to the virtue card! You see, I have this set of Virtues Reflections Cards which I bought two years ago in Green Acre, the wonderful Baha’i school, and have been using it by randomly choosing a virtue to practice each day. Now, choosing a card and practicing a virtue are different things. Having the mindfulness to remember what the intended virtue of the day was and applying it to situations as they arise, is another thing. Today’s card was on… humility. And today, in a pretentious attempt to be funny, I made a lame joke, demonstrating anything but humility… I did apologize but sometimes even the apology seems so lame… And for this walking imperfection, it is still so difficult to find the balance between humility and humiliation… At least there was a lesson in this experience, but it is still saddening to offend a friend:

Beware lest ye harm any soul, or make any heart to sorrow; lest ye wound any man with your words, be he known to you or a stranger, be he friend or foe.
(Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 73)

On the other hand I did host the second session of my Ruhi 3 study circle, and it was truly wonderful and nurturing.  The participants hail from four continents and their experience with children ranges from none through parenting of young children to parenting of grown-up children. It is so inspiring to observe how we all are able to reflect on a quote from such different, yet complimentary, angles. And each one of us is indeed trying to learn to polish gems of inestimable value, so the homework for next Thursday is:

1. Think of the favorite teacher from your childhood and reflect on what made that person so special
2. Practice noticing the gems of virtues within yourself, and others
3. Memorize this remarkable quote:

Regard man as a mine rich in gems of inestimable value. Education can, alone, cause it to reveal its treasures, and enable mankind to benefit therefrom.
(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 259)

I will be on the lookout for my humility! I know it must be buried somewhere… Because before I can polish the gem, I need to find it…

Humility exalteth man to the heaven of glory and power, whilst pride abaseth him to the depths of wretchedness and degradation.
(Baha’u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 29)

P.S. Turns out the joke was not so bad after all… Talk about a talent for self-torture. Oh well, live and learn.

4. O SON OF JUSTICE!
Whither can a lover go but to the land of his beloved? and what seeker findeth rest away from his heart’s desire? To the true lover reunion is life, and separation is death. His breast is void of patience and his heart hath no peace. A myriad lives he would forsake to hasten to the abode of his beloved.

(Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words)

Last Saturday, I had an improvised reunion with the lady who taught me about the Baha’i Faith nineteen years ago in the former Soviet Union, and a planned reunion with my singing family, the Washington Metropolitan Baha’i Chorale, directed again by the talented Van Gilmer, at the special event of support for the Baha’is of Iran. The event was attended, among 1500 others, by a coworker and by a visitor to the Prayer Station, whom I had invited.

Sunday night I was the one invited, this time to the Islamic Center in Washington, DC, to participate in a prayer and a dinner breaking the fast during Ramadan.

On Monday, the Prayer Station was attended by three souls, one of them a good friend whom I had helped with a direct teaching project, a friend of hers who was actively seeking connection with Baha’u'llah’s writings and prayers, and a gentleman who seemed to be intellectually curious about how the Baha’i Faith compares to other religions but finds difficult relating to the concept of prayer. I did offer to all of them a study circle on “The Life of the Spirit” but we shall see what happens next.

Wednesday, my Ruhi 2 study circle had its last session and everybody had very positive feedback about the whole experience. Befriended as we all had become, we will take a break before attempting to reunite for the next study circle, possibly Ruhi 4, “The Twin Manifestations”. So, I am ready for some rest…

Clearly I am not there:

Should there be ignited in thy heart the burning brand of the love of God, thou wouldst seek neither rest nor composure, neither laughter nor repose, but wouldst hasten to scale the highest summits in the realms of divine nearness, sanctity, and beauty.

(Baha’u'llah, Gems of Divine Mysteries, p. 13)

But I am here, and now, and this is a good place to start.

“That was lovely”, was everybody’s feedback on tonight’s home visit, the first one for our Ruhi 2 study circle. Our hostess was Nancy, a wonderful lady who lately has not been able to attend Baha’i activities because she is talking care of her 96 year old aunt, also named Nancy.

We had a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the value of fostering bonds of friendship that is not limited to 19th Day Feast introductions alone. Then again, that is the idea of a study circle, isn’t it? Our hostess seemed very pleased with our visit as we shared news from the community and encouraged each other to steadfastly continue to study and serve. She even expressed an interest in hosting a Feast, although everything depends on the condition of her ailing aunt. So, please keep two Nancys in your prayers — our host and her aunt.

The other highlight today was the news at work that I will be relocated to a new office in order to be able to gather my growing team in a single area. While being in proximity with all my teammates is great, I had to take a deep breath and take in with a good dose of detachment the small detail that from a “window office” I am moving to a room with artificial light. While I was initially unhappy about the move, I forced myself to look at it as an opportunity to serve better and be mature about this all, so there you have it — dealing with life as it comes. Considering that The Bab during his imprisonment had no light for years, puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? Besides, this situation gave me an opportunity to share with my boss one of my most favorite quotes:

Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity. Be worthy of the trust of thy neighbor, and look upon him with a bright and friendly face. Be a treasure to the poor, an admonisher to the rich, an answerer of the cry of the needy, a preserver of the sanctity of thy pledge. Be fair in thy judgment, and guarded in thy speech. Be unjust to no man, and show all meekness to all men. Be as a lamp unto them that walk in darkness, a joy to the sorrowful, a sea for the thirsty, a haven for the distressed, an upholder and defender of the victim of oppression. Let integrity and uprightness distinguish all thine acts. Be a home for the stranger, a balm to the suffering, a tower of strength for the fugitive. Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light unto the feet of the erring. Be an ornament to the countenance of truth, a crown to the brow of fidelity, a pillar of the temple of righteousness, a breath of life to the body of mankind, an ensign of the hosts of justice, a luminary above the horizon of virtue, a dew to the soil of the human heart, an ark on the ocean of knowledge, a sun in the heaven of bounty, a gem on the diadem of wisdom, a shining light in the firmament of thy generation, a fruit upon the tree of humility.
(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 284)

My boss’ response? “That was lovely”

Persevere thou in helping His Cause through the strengthening power of the hosts of wisdom and utterance. Thus hath it been decreed by God, the Gracious, the All-Praised. Blessed is the believer who hath in this Day embraced the Truth and the man of fixed resolve whom the hosts of tyranny have been powerless to affright.
(Baha’u'llah, Tablets of Baha’u'llah, p. 249)

Just as I was getting discouraged about my Ruhi 2 study circle, things are starting to pick up. We are moving along, having wonderful discussions and preparing for the first home visit next Wednesday and for the cluster reflection meeting on Saturday! God is all glorious and never gives up on us!

Two years and a half ago when I started this blog, I had no idea that befriending strangers would become so vital to my growth and health. Tonight, observing the discussion during the Ruhi 2 study circle I host and facilitate on Wednesdays made me aware that I have indeed gained friends on whom I have come to rely. Such friendships in times of difficulties have been a gentle reminder of the One True Friend:

Glory be to Thee, O my God! Thou hearest Thine ardent lovers lamenting in their separation from Thee, and such as have recognized Thee wailing because of their remoteness from Thy presence. Open Thou outwardly to their faces, O my Lord, the gates of Thy grace, that they may enter them by Thy leave and in conformity with Thy will, and may stand before the throne of Thy majesty, and catch the accents of Thy voice, and be illumined with the splendors of the light of Thy face.

Potent art Thou to do what pleaseth Thee. None can withstand the power of Thy sovereign might. From everlasting Thou wert alone, with none to equal Thee, and wilt unto everlasting remain far above all thought and every description of Thee. Have mercy, then, upon Thy servants by Thy grace and bounty, and suffer them not to be kept back from the shores of the ocean of Thy nearness. If Thou abandonest them, who is there to befriend them; and if Thou puttest them far from Thee, who is he that can favor them? They have none other Lord beside Thee, none to adore except Thyself. Deal Thou generously with them by Thy bountiful grace.

Thou, in truth, art the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Compassionate.

(Baha’u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha’u'llah, p. 72)

How fitting then to receive tonight this message:

The Bahá’í Faith is a member of the InterFaith Conference (IFC) of Metropolitan Washington through the Spiritual Assembly of Washington, D.C.

In the last two years they have trained many individuals as moderators in interfaith dialogue and are currently engaged in setting up hosts and groups of people (10-12 for each location) to hold interfaith dialogue.  This process involves a host who serves dinner to 10-12 strangers who have indicated through the IFC that they are interested in these dialogues.

The dinner/dialogue is scheduled for the evening of Sunday, Aug 9. If you would like to participate as either a host (the people will come to your home for dinner), or as a guest, please go to the following site and fill out the form.

Oh,  how I hope to be given a chance to become a host. Wouldn’t it be great to serve dinner to a dozen of strangers and talk about Faith?

The gem of tonight’s study circle was this profound quotation on the need for humility when speaking of God and His Manifestations:

They who are the beloved of God, in whatever place they gather and whomsoever they may meet, must evince, in their attitude towards God, and in the manner of their celebration of His praise and glory, such humility and submissiveness that every atom of the dust beneath their feet may attest the depth of their devotion. The conversation carried by these holy souls should be informed with such power that these same atoms of dust will be thrilled by its influence. They should conduct themselves in such manner that the earth upon which they tread may never be allowed to address to them such words as these: “I am to be preferred above you. For witness, how patient I am in bearing the burden which the husbandman layeth upon me. I am the instrument that continually imparteth unto all beings the blessings with which He Who is the Source of all grace hath entrusted me. Notwithstanding the honor conferred upon me, and the unnumbered evidences of my wealth — a wealth that supplieth the needs of all creation — behold the measure of my humility, witness with what absolute submissiveness I allow myself to be trodden beneath the feet of men….”

(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 7)

The Ruhi 2 study circle I host is as diverse as it gets, and this makes it really fun:

• An Iranian man, the only one of us who grew up in a Baha’i family, and who today for the first time in his life recited a prayer in English
• A Chilean woman who grew up Catholic and became a Baha’i in Bolivia after her American husband declared his belief in Baha’u'llah
• An African-American woman who grew up Muslim in a family close to Malcolm X and became a Baha’i after a home visit by a fireside host and a bus stop acquaintance who also turned out to be a Baha’i
• A Bulgarian man who grew up an atheist in an Eastern- Orthodox communist country and became a Baha’i after travel teachers in Odessa, Ukraine, told him that science and religion should be in harmony

O Thou kind Lord! Thou hast created all humanity from the same stock. Thou hast decreed that all shall belong to the same household. In Thy Holy Presence they are all Thy servants, and all mankind are sheltered beneath Thy Tabernacle; all have gathered together at Thy Table of Bounty; all are illumined through the light of Thy Providence.

O God! Thou art kind to all, Thou hast provided for all, dost shelter all, conferrest life upon all. Thou hast endowed each and all with talents and faculties, and all are submerged in the Ocean of Thy Mercy.

O Thou kind Lord! Unite all. Let the religions agree and make the nations one, so that they may see each other as one family and the whole earth as one home. May they all live together in perfect harmony.

O God! Raise aloft the banner of the oneness of mankind.

O God! Establish the Most Great Peace.

Cement Thou, O God, the hearts together.

O Thou kind Father, God! Gladden our hearts through the fragrance of Thy love. Brighten our eyes through the Light of Thy Guidance. Delight our ears with the melody of Thy Word, and shelter us all in the Stronghold of Thy Providence.

Thou art the Mighty and Powerful, Thou art the Forgiving and Thou art the One Who overlooketh the shortcomings of all mankind.

- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

While God is unknowable and beyond our reach, seeing the beauty of His creation is crucial. For how can we claim to love God, if we do not love His creation? But what about imperfections? A flawed human being as I am, I had to embrace my own imperfections as the current state of my reality, in order to see the potentiality for beauty within me so that, with God’s help, I could start seeing such potentiality for beauty in others. Once I was able to see the beauty of God’s creation in everyone, I felt inspired to start treating them with the dignity they — all of God’s creation — deserve which in turn resulted in starting to treat myself with the humble dignity I always wished to be treated with. But it all started with a loving yet honest look at myself:

13. O SON OF SPIRIT!
I created thee rich, why dost thou bring thyself down to poverty? Noble I made thee, wherewith dost thou abase thyself? Out of the essence of knowledge I gave thee being, why seekest thou enlightenment from anyone beside Me? Out of the clay of love I molded thee, how dost thou busy thyself with another? Turn thy sight unto thyself, that thou mayest find Me standing within thee, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting.
(Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

The first Taraz and the first effulgence which hath dawned from the horizon of the Mother Book is that man should know his own self and recognize that which leadeth unto loftiness or lowliness, glory or abasement, wealth or poverty.
(Baha’u'llah, Tablets of Baha’u'llah, p. 34)

Nothing is more fruitful for man than the knowledge of his own shortcomings. The Blessed Perfection says, “I wonder at the man who does not find his own imperfections.”
(Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 244)

Tonight’s study circle produced a fascinating discussion on the sacrifice a germinated seed needs to make so that through giving up the only life it has known, it could get a chance at fulfilling the purpose of its life and at reaching its potential for fruition. One might say, well the seed has no choice but to grow. Yet not every seed gets germinated. A seed that has fallen on a dry asphalt would probably not germinate while another one placed in a fertile ground might, based upon the conditions of rain and sunlight it requires, not only germinate but grow into a fruit-giving tree. So, it is all about potential and its fulfillment. None of us chooses the circumstances of the starting point of our lives. But as we grow, we are more and more able to make choices and through discerning the right ones, make ourselves potentially more deserving of being granted the chance to fulfill our potential. It all depends on God’s Will, of course, yet we do play our part in this Covenant through the choices we make — of choosing to sacrifice something that is of lower nature for something of higher nature, or not.

Every man trained through the teachings of God and illumined by the light of His guidance, who becomes a believer in God and His signs and is enkindled with the fire of the love of God, sacrifices the imperfections of nature for the sake of divine perfections.
(Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 452)

Having accepted that we all have potential for both imperfection and perfection, and having realized we are the choices we make, then living a real life becomes a matter of clear vision, attitude and faith. For if we choose to see the world through divine eyes, the way the Creator would look at His creation, yet humbly see ourselves as part of that Creation, we can start exhibiting divine qualities, imperfect as we are, failing as we might, never getting discouraged, never giving up.

So, can you see perfection in imperfection? God can. And I am pretty sure He wants to teach us how to do that too. That is why He’s been sending us Divine Educators in a progressive revelation.

Yesterday provided several marvelous reasons to reflect on the power of prayer and the nearness of the spiritual world. First of all, I overslept and cut the prayer time short in order to get to work. Then I got a very touching letter from a friend who attended the Ruhi 1 study circle:

Dear Mitko,

This morning during my prayers and meditations, I was reciting that very long prayer for the Fast and something a little out of the ordinary occurred. I was prompted, at the deepest level, to repeat a part of the prayer, and entreat Baha’u'llah to accept it as though it were being recited by and coming from Mitko. This is the portion of the prayer which I said on your behalf,

“…..yet I beseech Thee by Thy name through which Thou has revealed Thy Self, in the glory of Thy most excellent titles, unto all created things, in this Revelation whereby Thou hast, through Thy most resplendent Name, manifested Thy beauty, to give me to drink of the wine of Thy mercy and of the pure beverage of Thy favor, which have streamed forth from the right hand of Thy will, so that I may fix my gaze upon Thee and be so detached from all else but Thee, that the world and all that have been created therein may appear before me as a fleeting day which Thou has not deigned to create. I moreover entreat Thee, O my God, to rain down, from the heaven of Thy will and clouds of Thy mercy, that which will cleanse us from the noisome savors of our transgressions, O Thou Who has called Thyself the God of Mercy! Thou art, verily, the Most Powerful, the All-Glorious, the Beneficent.”

The emphasis is mine, but that is where I so very strongly felt compelled to provide the emphasis.

I am just sharing Mitko, that is all, from one Baha’i human being to another Baha’i human being. Please understand, no response is required.

I just cannot help but wonder if it was a spiritual seed planted by Marion Jack that eventually and directly led to your recognition of Baha’u'llah. Well, I guess it is one of the multitude of mysteries I have questions about that I will have to wait until I arrive in the next world to seek answers!

May Baha’u'llah shower you with His blessings and may this Fast ennoble your soul to soar to such heights that you previously could not even consider much less imagine,

Barry

Wow! How do you respond to this? If that is not a spiritual connection between the souls, I don’t know what it is… The timing of that message was of course perfect since I was about to start my non-eating lunch break and I dedicated it to reading this same prayer for the Fast. To top this off, I have a wonderful coworker who is a Baha’i too, and we shared more prayers together. Talk about luxury!

Now speaking of luxury, another message that was shared with me put many things in their proper perspective. Those of you who have taken a Ruhi 1 study circle know that one of its service requirements is to share a prayer with another soul. I previously wrote about the inspiring experience I had when sharing a prayer with friends over the phone. The phone is of course nothing new to me since it was over the phone that I declared my belief in Baha’u'llah.

But let me stay focused. Here is the message I am referring to:

We have received a very touching letter from Mrs. Mahvash Sabet’s sister, who had visited the notorious Evin prison where all seven of the Friends are being held and awaiting trial. Please note that the visits are not in private. The letter is a testimony to their courage, certitude and steadfastness and the abiding unity that exists amongst His followers from all corners of the earth:

It’s Monday today and we have just been to Evin to visit Mahvash. We had the honour of seeing all the seven Friend [...]. All seven on one side and us, the other… My father started to cry and Mahvash said: “ Darling father, I swear to God, we are fine, do not worry about us”… I asked Mahvash what they eat for food at dawn and she said: “ they give us tea and warm up what we save from the previous night for dinner. However, none of us know the prayer for Fast by heart, so please recite it on our behalf…Please ask the friends to pray for us – we feel the warmth of their prayers and convey our greetings and love to everyone”

Now that puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? Fasting while in prison, with no prayer book on your side. And all you can count on are the prayers you have memorized (no doubt during children classes and Ruhi study circles); and of course on the prayers of other friends.

That is what provided the inspiration for the opening prayer of the Ruhi 2 study circle which commenced yesterday evening. It was a wonderful gathering with heartfelt reflections on what inspires us to teach and share the healing message of Baha’u'llah:

O wayfarer in the path of God! Take thou thy portion of the ocean of His grace, and deprive not thyself of the things that lie hidden in its depths. Be thou of them that have partaken of its treasures. A dewdrop out of this ocean would, if shed upon all that are in the heavens and on the earth, suffice to enrich them with the bounty of God, the Almighty, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise. With the hands of renunciation draw forth from its life-giving waters, and sprinkle therewith all created things, that they may be cleansed from all man-made limitations and may approach the mighty seat of God, this hallowed and resplendent Spot.

- Baha’u'llah